For many young women, social media is an endless comparison machine. Autism is a built-in guard against this mindset.
Platforms filled with influencers, celebrities, fitness models and carefully edited selfies often create pressure to look “perfect.”
The pressure is created within the viewer, especially if the viewer already has a conventionally attractive body.
In other words, when these vulnerable young women venture out into the community, people don’t collect around them with orders to get down to a size 4 or get lip injections.
The pressure is self-made upon viewing Instagram and TikTok accounts depicting small waists, flawless skin and picture perfect hair.
Being Autistic Protects Against Self-Induced Pressure to “Look Like Her”
Autistic women are often less vulnerable to this particular kind of social media depression.
While some autistic women absolutely experience anxiety and mental health struggles (due to trying to navigate a world run by neurotypicals), they are less likely to internalize influencer beauty culture in the same way that typical women do.
- The key term here is “less likely.”
- This doesn’t mean every single autistic woman is immune to this self-pressure.
- It means Autism Spectrum Disorder often serves as a buffer against self-induced, endless comparisons and the resulting despondency and shattered self-worth.
A Different Relationship With Social Expectation
One reason social media depression is less common in autistic women is that autistic thinking styles place less importance on social conformity.
Even as young as 13, my autistic self began questioning social norms and challenging why people do what they do.
Neurotypical women are frequently highly aware of social hierarchies, popularity signals, beauty standards and peer approval.
They may instinctively monitor how they compare to others in attractiveness, fashion or social success.
The irony is that many autistic girls and young women actually try to be neurotypical (NT) – a process called masking, in which they take on an NT persona (voice, mannerisms, facial expressions, scripted responses to small talk, suppression of stims such as finger flicking, rocking or knee bouncing).
Masking in autism is done to prevent ridicule and being thought of as the odd one, and to please parents.
But the relentless comparisons to influencers is far more prevalent in NTs.
Some autistic women, who’ve shed their years of masking, will say they acted neurotypical to “survive.” This includes fear of losing a job if they let their autistic traits show.
Reasons for masking are not the same as the reasons NT women get so caught up with comparing themselves to someone thinner on Instagram or feeling down and out because their Instagram feeds keep showing women with tiny waists and thin thighs.
Even a high masking autistic woman or teen will continue to question societal norms and expectations – while keeping the mask on to avoid ridicule, punishment or some other anticipated negative outcome.
NT females, however, won’t question norms, and they’ll hate themselves for not fitting into their perceived templates of beauty. Even the ads for a GLP-1 will rock them for days.
As an Autistic, I see those ads simply for what they are: ads. There are ads for all sorts of medications everywhere in America. That’s life, folks. Deal.
Many individuals need to lose weight. To get emotional over a drug for weight loss is just … incomprehensible to my differently-wired brain. And that’s a marvelous thing, because these ads are prevalent.
And there will be a next generation of weight loss ads down the road, guaranteed. My autism will prevent me from having to dread this.
Now of course, it’s understandable that if a woman (NT or autistic) is 250 pounds, she’s going to be very sour over this and be envious of lean and toned women.
There’s rhyme and reason to this envy. Morbid obesity is unsightly and causes real physical issues in even young women that are impossible to ignore: poor stamina, compromised mobility, acid reflux, knee and back pain, not to mention high blood pressure and struggles with conceiving.
But there’s a completely different mental thing going on when a woman isn’t even overweight yet still pines to be a size 2 — and, until she achieves that, feels that she’s “not enough.”
In other words, her body already is the beauty standard, yet she obsesses to be thinner because all the Instagram accounts she spends time on are of skinny, happy looking women with the smoothest thighs in the West.
Autistic women process social information differently. Autism is not a processing error; it’s a different operating system.
Many are less motivated by social status and less emotionally invested in fitting into mainstream beauty expectations – even if they’re high masking.
Remember, the mask is just that: a fake presentation of behavior that opposes how they truly feel internally.
Instead of obsessing over whether they resemble an influencer or celebrity, autistic women will focus more on personal interests, hobbies, routines, intellectual pursuits or comfort.
When I was in junior high, I was more interested in shark attacks than looking like the most popular girls.
When I was in high school I was fascinated by spinal cord injury and space while classmates talked way too much about makeup, hair and the latest clothing styles.
This difference can act as a psychological buffer against appearance-based comparison culture.
Autistic Women Often Value Authenticity Over Image
Instagram culture is built heavily around presentation. Many influencers carefully stage photos (who would’ve thought?), edit their appearance and filter imperfections (seriously?), and create idealized versions of their lives, a la posing before a neighbor’s expensive car.
Neurotypical users may emotionally absorb these images and compare themselves against unrealistic standards — or rather, what they believe are standards.
Remember, nobody crowds around them in public shaming them for not being a size 2 or not living inside a $1M house.
Autistic women are more skeptical of social performance and artificial behavior.
Autistic women are more skeptical of social performance and artificial behavior.
Many place high value on honesty, directness and authenticity. Because of this, they may view influencer culture as fake, exaggerated or emotionally uninteresting rather than aspirational.
There are influencer-culture accounts I’ve seen that have loads of followers, yet my beautiful autistic mind fails to see the appeal.
Maybe next time I have insomnia I should scroll through one of these lame accounts.
Instead of thinking, “Why don’t I look like her?” an autistic woman may simply think, “The filter is so obvious.”
While tons of comments are complimenting an influencer’s hair, I’m thinking, “What obvious extensions.”
While one comment after another is praising a woman’s complexion, I’m thinking, “It’s concealer, you dingbats!”
Reduced Interest in Social Competition
Many forms of social media depression are fueled by social competition.
Neurotypical women may unconsciously compete over beauty, fashion, relationships, vacations, popularity or lifestyle status. Likes, comments, followers and attention become measures of social value.
Autistic women are less driven by these competitive social dynamics.
Some don’t fully understand the unwritten rules of social status games. Others simply find them exhausting or pointless. And boring.
Because they are less emotionally invested in climbing social hierarchies, autistic women are less likely to feel devastated upon encountering highly polished influencers online.
Special Interests Can Replace Appearance Obsession
Funny how Autistics are thought of as easily becoming “obsessed” over things, while neurotypicals get obsessed over looking like someone else.
In fact, NTs even post comments such as, “I’m obsessed with your lip color.” Or it might be, “So obsessed with that top; where’d you get it?”
Yet if these NT women passed an average looking stranger on the street wearing the same damn top or lip color, they’d never notice. It’s only because that lip color and top were on that particular influencer, did the neurotypical woman become fixated!
When an Autistic becomes hyperfixated or obsessed with a topic, this is called a special interest (a well-known term in the autism community).
My special interests include alternate spellings of female names.
So if I stumble across an influencer with 2M Instagram followers, and I objectively see her as being gorgeous, but also notice that her name is Aydreanna, I’ll be like, “Cool spelling!” and stare at the printed name, never mind staring at her tiny waist, doe eyes and pouty lips and getting all worked up because I don’t look like that!
Intense or special interests can include popular and broad topics that appeal to many NTs such as animals, photography, books, music, crafting, gaming, dinosaurs, human behavior and anime.
And then there are more stereotypical special interests: license plate tags, scientific names of houseplants, feral children, train schedules, neural tube defects, the Great Pyramids, and creating hybrid animals using AI. The list is endless.
These focused passions provide meaning, structure, enjoyment and identity outside physical appearance.
While many neurotypical social media users spend hours evaluating their looks or comparing themselves to influencers, autistic women may instead spend that mental energy deeply engaged in subjects they genuinely care about. This could mean reading up on the latest fascination, such as what the inspiration was for Dmitri Shostakovich’s spellbinding Seventh Symphony.
Many autistic women know a lot about a lot of things! They love taking deep dives on their latest fixation and quickly amass knowledge of it, often retaining that knowledge years after the interest has subsided.
Intense interests create a healthier source of having self-worth that is not dependent on attractiveness or online validation.
Lower Sensitivity to Peer Pressure
Social media trends spread largely through peer influence. Beauty routines, cosmetic procedures, diet trends, makeup styles and body ideals often become powerful because NT women fear social rejection if they fail to participate.
Autistic women are often less responsive to peer pressure than neurotypical women.
Some may not notice subtle social pressure cues at all. Others consciously reject trends they view as irrational, uncomfortable or inauthentic.
More than four years into my autism diagnosis in middle age, I’ve noticed that many of the autistic women I’ve met at autism events have their own look.
They dress a little differently. They have blues, greens and magentas in their hair. They rock to their own beat.
Women on the Spectrum are less likely to feel urgency to chase beauty standards promoted online.
Less Emotional Investment in Celebrity Culture
Many typical users emotionally attach themselves to online personalities and begin comparing their own lives to those figures.
Autistic women are frequently less interested in celebrity lifestyles and conventional social glamour.
They may admire creators for talent, knowledge, humor or creativity rather than appearance alone.
An autistic woman may follow someone because she enjoys their niche content, not because she wants to look like them.
Body Image Issues Still Exist in Autistic Women
None of this means autistic women are immune to insecurity or depression.
Many women with ASD struggle deeply with self-esteem, bullying, isolation, sensory discomfort and eating disorders. In fact, the obesity rate is higher in autistic women than in neurotypicals.
Spending all of one’s childhood trying to fit into an NT world can really do a number on one’s psyche by adulthood. It’s this that leads to depression and anxiety, not the inherent wiring of autism itself.
Rather than obsessing over influencer beauty ideals, autistic women may feel disconnected socially, misunderstood by others or overwhelmed by daily life demands.
Their emotional struggles are less tied to appearance comparison and social media validation culture.
It’s very easy to imagine that on a predominantly autistic planet (yes, I’m sure there are some out there!), there is no such thing as depression and poor self-worth caused by social media influencers’ bodies, lips, skin, hair or lifestyles.
