Why Mothers Should Be Best Friends with Their Kids
A teenager who declares her mother is her best friend is showing lots of respect, not the absence of it.
Judge Judy once explained to Larry King that mothers should not try to be “friends” with their kids.
However, if your teen daughter considers you her best friend, she won’t hide much from you.
And isn’t this exactly what a mother wants — that her teen “open up” and seek moral support and guidance from the mother, rather than from her teen friends?
If your daughter is your “best friend,” then rest assured, she will bring to you her hopes and dreams, trials and tribulations, and value your opinion, rather than ignore you when you ask her how school was.
Over and over again I hear how mothers should never try to be friends with their kids.
This advice does not correlate to a teenage girl posting on Facebook, “Happy birthday Mom! You are my hero, the most loving mom anyone can have, my guide in life, but mostly, my very best friend.”
Is this disrespectful or heartfelt? Did this girl’s mother goof up with the parenting role or succeed in it? Hint: It’s very endearing and the mother nailed her role!
Mothers should be best friends with their kids.
The word “friend” should bring to mind only positive ideas and images, such as relaxed, free-flowing communication, honesty, trust and affection – gushing full-force both ways: from mother to child, and child to mother.
It is not disrespectful to call your mother your best friend. And a mother does not usurp authority and leadership when she calls her daughter or son her best friend.
In fact, this is the highest compliment both generations can give each other.
Eventually, we outgrow the need for our mothers to provide food, clothing, money, transportation and corrective responses — items that a cook, seamstress, bus driver and nanny can provide.
Without a friendship to maintain the connection between mother and child, what is left, once we’re grown up and taking care of ourselves? What then binds offspring to mother? A friendship will do just that.
Shutterstock/fizkes
If your child thinks of you as her best friend, feel proud and accomplished, because this means she thinks very highly of you; you are No. 1 in her life.
If your daughter (or son) doesn’t quite see you as a “friend,” then this is a wake-up call, a sign that you should seriously access the relationship.
Sad Case
When Mollie was a teenager she was telling her authoritarian mother that mothers and daughters should be best friends.
Her mother got mad at this idea and, with a scornful voice, criticized Mollie’s pleas for a friendship.
Mollie was an “A” student and wanted to be a doctor. She was reaching out to her mother.
She kept pleading her case. Her mother kept shooting it down. Mollie, looking back at this transaction of many years ago, believes it was the last time she ever reached out to her harsh, unfeeling mother, and got the door slammed in her face.
Mollie became a doctor and has been estranged from her mother for many years—beginning with when she graduated from medical school.
When Judge Judy asserts that mothers should not try to be “friends” with their children, I must wonder how this judge believes good friends treat each other.
Best friends hug and embrace each other, offer a shoulder to cry upon, lift up each other’s spirits, encourage each other to leap for the stars, have fun with each other, travel together, and are always there to listen with a nonjudgmental ear.
And this is the kind of relationship that every mother should want with her kids – and that every child wants with his or her mother, even though it may not always seem that way.
Friendship, by definition, consists of mutual respect, and if your child respects and admires you, and you cherish that individual, then these strong feelings can only be described as the best friendship possible between two people.
Often, when a teenager or adult speaks lovingly and respectfully of his or her mother, the phrase, “She is my best friend,” usually comes up.
The converse is also true: Many times, a woman will refer to her teen or adult child as “my best friend.”
Ever hear of a teenager–who’s out-of-control and always angrily mouthing off to her mother–lovingly refer to her mother as “my best friend?” Nope, never happens.
Think of all the stories you’ve read or seen on the news in which a woman is reminiscing (often through tears) of her teen child who was killed in a school shooting or car accident.
Nearly every time (it’s actually quite predictable), the mother will say, “She was my best friend.”
Does this mean the grieving mother had no authority in the household and never disciplined, allowing the child to run amok and get in trouble?
And I can’t begin to tell you how often I’ve seen on TV a teenage girl say, through buckets of tears, “She was my best friend,” when talking about her mother who died of breast cancer.
Does this mean the daughter was disrespectful while the mother was alive?
What Does a Relationship Expert Say?
“The problem with this is that it’s black and white rigid thinking,” begins Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist in S. California who counsels individuals and couples, and author of 13 books including “Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage.”
“Yes, of course you should be close to your daughter, but not so close that you can’t be respected and stand for what’s right,” continues Dr. Tessina.
“It shouldn’t be a choice between setting limits and having a warm relationship. You can do both.
“In fact, your daughter [or son] will respect you more if you’re willing to risk her anger at you for saying ‘no’ to certain things that would be bad for her; or insisting she do chores, homework and be responsible.
“If you have to make a choice between being your daughter’s ‘friend’ or her parent, choose parent. But, five minutes later, you can be friends, too.
“Problems arise when parents relinquish their responsibility to teach, discipline and shape their children’s lives, because they don’t want to risk the relationship.
“There are times when your child won’t like you or like what you’re doing. There are also times when you probably won’t like your child. But, that should not stop you from loving each other.
“In fact, mothers who take responsibility for shaping their daughter’s character by setting limits and insisting on the daughter taking responsibility are more likely to be friends with the daughter when she becomes an adult.”
Mollie says of her mother, “She always viewed parenting as a job. But it’s not a job. It’s a relationship. It should have been.
“My mother was all about show me respect, never question me, and if you don’t like it then there’s the front door.
“That kind of parenting, no friendship, has cost her big time. None of her grown kids are close to her.”
Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, TV, video and podcasts, and has been in private practice for over 30 years.
Lorra Garrick has been covering medical, fitness and cybersecurity topics for many years, having written thousands of articles for print magazines and websites, including as a ghostwriter. She’s also a former ACE-certified personal trainer.
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Top image: Shutterstock/Subbotina Anna
People Who Laugh At Everything They Say: Cause, Solution
Yes, there IS a cause, and a way, to tell someone to stop laughing after everything they say.
And it goes like this: “Jen, are you aware that you laugh after everything you say?” Then be silent and wait for the response.
This may sound cold and harsh, but after googling this topic, I found one site after another that discussed this problem — not in terms of solutions, but rather, “Why do some people laugh after everything they say?”
There aren’t a whole lot of legitimate-sounding answers, and because I’m not a trained psychologist, my explanation would pass as commentary.
So I consulted with Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist in Southern California who counsels individuals and couples, and is author of over a dozen books including “It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction.”
Every so often when channel surfing I’d land upon “The Little Couple.”
I quickly realized that Jen laughs (nervous giggle) after nearly everything she says—common, casual statements.
She’s not telling jokes—just talking in regular, routine conversation.
Yet predictably, Jen lets out a very rapid “he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he” after nearly every statement, phrase and even just a few words. Some viewers love this and think it’s cute and charming.
That’s easy to say when you’re hearing it on TV, knowing you can change the channel when you get sick of it.
What if you know someone in person who laughs or giggles after everything they say?
This mindless habit sure irritates a lot of people, yet nobody seems to have the courage to point out this extremely annoying habit to the guilty party.
I myself aren’t ready to tell the kindly man who runs the muffin shop I occasionally visit (killer chocolate chocolate chip muffins!) that he can’t speak two sentences without laughing.
In online forums, many people say just tolerate it. That’s easy in the context of a muffin shop.
But what if you must work with someone like this all day long?
There’s something wrong when someone must laugh after nearly every casual, neutral, common, run-of-the-mill comment in life.
Transient exposures, such as the muffin shop, are tolerable, but people with incessantly giggling or laughing coworkers really have an ear-sore on their hands.
Here is what Dr. Tessina explains: “A constant nervous giggle, what is called a self-deprecating laugh, is a nervous tic. The giggler probably isn’t very aware of how much he or she does it.
“It indicates insecurity and a poor self-image. It can often come out of a childhood in which the child is fearful of harsh criticism or punishment, and tries to indicate submissiveness to avert punishment.
“In Jen’s case, the ‘punishment’ may have come from feeling ‘different’ or hearing negative reactions to her size.”
In other words, when nearly everything someone says is punctuated with a laugh or chuckle, this is NOT a sign they’re a very happy individual.
We all know people who have everything going for them; they’ve been blessed since birth and live a glorious life.
And yet…they don’t laugh every time they speak.
You may think this is a trite issue, even for someone who works all day near such a person.
However, what if one of these women or men, who laugh after every comment they make, expects YOU to laugh or smile with amusement too?
This can be stressful to an introverted individual, or to someone who just doesn’t feel comfortable putting on a façade or wearing a phony smile.
This puts the listener in a very awkward position, making them feel they must try to be someone they’re not.
So yes, people who find excessive nervous laughter to be very annoying are quite justified in expressing how inappropriate this is.
When should you tell a person that they laugh after everything they say?
It depends on how often you see that person and under what circumstances.
For instance, are you seated next to such a person (a stranger) on a four-hour airplane flight?
Or maybe it’s your future mother-in-law you’re meeting for the first time.
Maybe it’s a person at work who’s in a position to promote you.
Maybe it’s a friend of a friend whom you’re eating lunch with in a group for the first time.
Though Jen from “The Little Couple” might have a cuter sounding nervous laugh, some women have a loud, shrieking kind of laugh.
The male version might sound like Dr. Bombay’s from the “Bewitched” sitcom.
What do you say to someone who always laughs, chuckles, snickers or giggles after everything they say?
Simply point it out. They may very well thank you and work hard at ending this bad habit.
Related: the real reason men tell women to smile!
Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, TV, video and podcasts, and has been in private practice for over 30 years.
Lorra Garrick has been covering medical, fitness and cybersecurity topics for many years, having written thousands of articles for print magazines and websites, including as a ghostwriter. She’s also a former ACE-certified personal trainer. —
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Sources:
city-data.com/forum/relationships/433507-omg-annoying-people-who-laugh-after.html#b
socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/i-hate-people-who-laugh-at-everything-201366/
talkbass.com/threads/people-that-laugh-after-saying-common-things.340159/
democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105×8841334
Why Do Some People Always Smile when Talking Even if It’s Bad?
Why It’s NOT Rude to Refuse a Ride from a Stranger
Are you a woman (or teen girl) who thinks you’d appear rude if you refused to get into a stranger’s car when he offers you a ride?
There will always be women and teen girls who accept rides from strangers pulling up alongside the curb and offering, “Hi, would you like me to drive you to wherever you’re headed?”
I will never be able to wrap my head around this. Young women have been known to accept rides from strangers in beautiful weather.
Sometimes their destination (home, work, school, a friend’s house) isn’t even that far off—only a few blocks away.
No sprained ankle, no heavy rucksack causing back pain with each step, and plenty of time to arrive at the destination—yet these girls and women get into that enclosed metal chamber with a man they’ve never seen before!
I’ve actually heard of women accepting a ride from a stranger (and the stranger is always a man) because they believed they’d appear “rude” if they declined.
And you have to ask yourself just how common this reason is, being that often, these offers of rides occur in perfect weather, when the young woman is only a short distance from her destination.
It’s okay to refuse a ride from a goodlooking man. Shutterstock/ Jaroslav Monchak
I decided to find out what Dr. Carol Lieberman thought of this. Carole Lieberman, MD, is a forensic psychiatrist and author of “Bad Boys: Why We Love Them, How to Live With Them and When to Leave Them.”
Dr. Lieberman has a very interesting take on this odd phenomenon.
She explains, “Some young women (and teen girls) accept rides from strangers because they don’t want to ‘appear rude’ or ‘hurt his feelings.’
“These women are making this dangerous choice because of unconscious feelings that they have about their fathers.
“Most have fathers who were not there for them, either emotionally or physically.
“Typically, they have been abandoned by their dads and are longing for a father figure to pay attention to them and take care of them.
“When a man offers such a woman a ride, she puts aside logic, her awareness that accepting a ride would be risky and, instead, feels flattered, appreciated, and overwhelmed by seeing that there is a man who seems to care for her, unlike her dad.
“A smaller number of women don’t want to ‘hurt his feelings’ because they feel sorry for, or guilty about, their dad.
“Perhaps their dad is ill, unemployed, depressed or died when they were young.
“They want to be nice to this stranger because it feels like helping their dad.”
If you disagree with any of this, here’s a little experiment:
Think of a teenage girl you know who is extremely close to her father. Her father is a strong person, very connected with his daughter—who’s the apple of his eye.
He’s the type of dad who eagerly bursts into the house after coming straight home from work and right away wants to see his daughter, and couldn’t care less about “going out with the boys to unwind” after work.
- His daughter will never outgrow being his princess.
- And she just ADORES him.
- He’s her hero.
- She worships him.
I’m struggling to picture this girl getting into a stranger’s car after he comes alongside the curb and offers her a ride.
It’s like accepting dog food when you know there’s steak at home for you.
I’m particularly having difficulty imagining her getting into that car in the name of not appearing rude. What on earth!
Okay, I’m sure there are some teen girls/women who are slaves to the “rude” thing without it having to do with their fathers.
For example, let’s take a young woman who, all throughout her childhood, was micromanaged by an etiquette-obsessed mother, scolded if she forgot to say “thank you” to a stranger who helped out with something, and was bullied by her controlling mother into always being prim and proper.
I can easily see this young woman slipping into that car out of fear she’d come off as rude if she didn’t.
But no matter how you slice it, something just isn’t right when a young woman, teen girl, any-age female or even male accepts a ride from a stranger.
Usually this happens in good weather and when the passenger is not in pain walking.
I’m sure that some of these men who offer rides to strangers are innocent and only trying to be “nice.”
But it certainly raises red flags when these nice men offer rides only to young, attractive, able-bodied women, while there are certainly many other women who are finding it more difficult to walk, such as one who’s obese or who’s senior-aged.
Why don’t these “nice” men offer THEM rides? Why don’t they offer other men rides?
Dr. Lieberman analyzes the psychological impact of world events, as a guest and/or host on all major media outlets. Her appearances include “Larry King Live,” “The Today Show,” “Good Morning America,” “Entertainment Tonight,” CNN and Fox News.
Lorra Garrick has been covering medical, fitness and cybersecurity topics for many years, having written thousands of articles for print magazines and websites, including as a ghostwriter. She’s also a former ACE-certified personal trainer.
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Top image: Shutterstock/Minerva Studio
Normal Black Line Under Fingernail vs. Melanoma Streak
A doctor explains the differences between a melanoma black line under the fingernail and a normal one.
“Splinters or dark streaks under nails can occur when microscopic areas of bleeding happen and allow blood to settle under the nail,” says Dr. Joel Schlessinger, MD, board certified dermatologist and cosmetic surgeon with a private practice in Omaha, NE.
“This also occurs in psoriasis where nail deformities are common,” he continues.
“A dark streak or area of the nail with dark discoloration can be a sign of melanoma and should be evaluated if there is no reason that trauma could have caused it.
“The dark streak from melanoma is due to actual cells being grown in the nail area or under the nail.”
What’s going on when the cause is benign?
“If the cause of nail streaks is benign it is usually from trauma or psoriasis or simple heredity,” says Dr. Schlessinger.
“Many individuals with skin of color have longitudinal nail streaking or dark streaks over the nails, and sometimes it is difficult to determine if they are benign or not.”
How are melanoma streaks in the nails different in appearance from benign streaks?
Dr. Schlessinger explains, “Hutchinson’s sign in melanoma is the presence of a dark streak along with color changes to the skin just before the nail starts.”
HUTCHINSON’S SIGN
HUTCHINSON’S SIGN
HUTCHINSON’S SIGN
Hutchinson’s sign can also appear in the skin at the top of the nail.
Hutchinson’s near the top nail edge
“This is a very concerning sign and usually is best addressed by a biopsy of the nail bed or, at the very least, evaluation by a dermatologist.”
Melanoma lines under the nails tend to be thicker than the harmless splinter-like lines that many people get.
They also tend to be comprised of varying shades of brown to black, or if just brown, the shades usually still vary.
Melanoma streaks may also be tan, grey or dull pink.
Melanoma streaks may be thick enough to look more like bands than lines.
More Differences
Cancer will also progress, whereas the normal thinner streak that was never there before will eventually disappear.
The harmless subungual hemorrhage (old blood) will be pushed upward over time from new nail growth.
Melanoma will never push upward, but will expand in width.
A malignant tumor in a nail nearly always affects just one nail.
Dark lines on several nails that all look the same are very likely benign.
Dr. Schlessinger adds, “The colors can be anything due to nail thickness and different areas where moles can originate.
“The most usual causes for nail issues, however, are trauma and hereditary issues.
“Make sure to tell your doctor if you have had trauma or if your family has these issues so they can evaluate you thoroughly.”
A benign area of pigmentation can actually cause a “pseudo-Hutchinson’s sign,” but if you see this sign, it’s not for you, as the patient, to diagnose.
See a dermatologist who will have it biopsied.
Dr. Schlessinger, founder of LovelySkin.com, has 25+ years of experience treating many skin conditions including melanoma. He’s founder of the Advanced Skin Research Center, a clinical facility that investigates new medications and treatments.
Lorra Garrick has been covering medical, fitness and cybersecurity topics for many years, having written thousands of articles for print magazines and websites, including as a ghostwriter. She’s also a former ACE-certified personal trainer.
Pink Line or Stripe on Fingernail or Toenail Can Be Melanoma
Does a Bleeding Mole Always Mean Cancer?
“While a bleeding mole is something that should be evaluated, this is not always cancer and usually just is an irritated mole, especially if it was in the way of scratching,” says Dr. Joel Schlessinger, MD, board certified dermatologist and cosmetic surgeon with a private practice in Omaha, NE.
“However, if you continue to have bleeding, it should definitely be evaluated, as a dermatologist can remove the mole and keep it from happening in the future. At that time they will see if it is at risk for cancer.”
The removed mole should be biopsied, even if the doctor says it looks normal (other than for the bleeding).
Dr. Schlessinger also explains, “Melanoma can bleed just as other skin cancers such as squamous cell and basal cell carcinoma can.
“They bleed due to fragile skin that occurs when the normal pattern of skin regeneration and protection is disrupted by the cancer.
“This is a serious symptom so it is important to consider being evaluated if you have any bleeding mole.
“Usually melanoma isn’t even detected in very small moles, but it is impossible to say if a mole is good or bad based on size alone.”
Dr. Schlessinger, founder of LovelySkin.com, has 25+ years of experience treating many skin conditions including melanoma. He’s founder of the Advanced Skin Research Center, a clinical facility that investigates new medications and treatments.
Lorra Garrick has been covering medical, fitness and cybersecurity topics for many years, having written thousands of articles for print magazines and websites, including as a ghostwriter. She’s also a former ACE-certified personal trainer.
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Top image: Shutterstock/Albina Glisic
Cause & Treatment of Small Itching Blisters on Your Fingers
Are small and itching “blisters” on your fingers driving you mad?
If you see “blisters” on your fingers and they itch, these may not be the typical blisters that result from a burn.
“Itchy small blisters on the fingers are often simply a condition called dyshidrotic eczema, a form of dry or irritated skin,” says Dr. Joel Schlessinger, MD, board certified dermatologist and cosmetic surgeon with a private practice in Omaha, NE.
“It is important not to pick at them or open them up, as that can result in more issues and prolonged irritation,” says Dr. Schlessinger.
“Instead, try to moisturize them or use a topical steroid if available such as 1% hydrocortisone.
“This can result in improvement, but if there is a continued irritant such as handwashing, detergents or a contact allergy to rings or clothes, these will have to be avoided to allow the area to improve.
“Many times I am asked what the ‘water’ or ‘fluid’ is inside of the blisters.
“This is only serum (a form of infection or trauma-fighting fluid) that is sent to heal the area.
“Opening up the area or washing it away delays healing, so it is best to avoid unroofing the blisters.”
And no matter how much they itch, do not scratch them.
More About Dyshidrotic Eczema
- Though it can affect children, it typically appears in people 20 to 40.
- Risk factors include family history and a personal history of contact dermatitis and hay fever.
Triggers of this itchy blister condition, which can also include flaking, are:
- Mental stress
- Pollen
- Excessive sweating of the hands
- Contact with the following items due to their nickel content: keys, cell phones, jewelry, metal buckles and buttons, zippers and eyeglass frames.
- Consumption of the following foods due to their nickel content: chocolate, almonds, oatmeal, soybeans and canned goods.
Dr. Schlessinger, founder of LovelySkin.com, has 25+ years of experience treating many skin conditions including melanoma. He’s founder of the Advanced Skin Research Center, a clinical facility that investigates new medications and treatments.
Lorra Garrick has been covering medical, fitness and cybersecurity topics for many years, having written thousands of articles for print magazines and websites, including as a ghostwriter. She’s also a former ACE-certified personal trainer.
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Top image: Maslesha,CC BY-SA
Causes of Excessive Sweating on Face, Neck, Head
A dermatologist explains what might cause excessive sweating on your face, neck and head that doesn’t correspond to any intense physical activity or heat.
“Excessive sweating is usually caused by a certain type of nerve on the sweat glands that leads to sweating out of proportion to what is necessary to maintain our regular temperature,” says Dr. Joel Schlessinger, MD, board certified dermatologist and cosmetic surgeon with a private practice in Omaha, NE.
“Some sweating is absolutely necessary but there is a point where it becomes too much!
“Generally, this happens on areas such as arms, hands and feet (and underarms, of course), but some individuals have it all over,” including the face, neck and head.
Dr. Schlessinger adds, “This is a different type of sweating that can be caused by the same unregulated nerves, or other conditions such as menopause, obesity, diabetes, pregnancy, high thyroid levels, Parkinson’s disease, lymphoma, gout and various infections.
“If these are concerns or if you have uncontrolled sweating it may be a good idea to see your physician.
“The most common form that I see is when it is associated with menopause.”
When an woman has menopausal hot flashes, she can have excessive sweating on her face, head and neck, but usually, the flash of sweating will occur elsewhere as well, rather than only on the face, head and neck.
Also, says Dr. Schlessinger, menopausal sweating disappears shortly after the hot flash begins.
“Hyperthyroidism is also commonly associated with sweating,” he says, and a blood test can check for this condition.
Dr. Schlessinger, founder of LovelySkin.com, has 25+ years of experience treating many skin conditions including melanoma. He’s founder of the Advanced Skin Research Center, a clinical facility that investigates new medications and treatments.
Lorra Garrick has been covering medical, fitness and cybersecurity topics for many years, having written thousands of articles for print magazines and websites, including as a ghostwriter. She’s also a former ACE-certified personal trainer.
Burning in Stomach after Gallbladder Surgery: Doctor Explains
There are MANY causes, says a gallbladder surgeon, of stomach burning after the surgery, and thus, many treatment approaches.
Sometimes, a person who had gallbladder removal surgery reports a burning in the stomach.
This has many causes and is called post-cholecystectomy syndrome.
“Post-cholecystectomy syndrome (PCS) is a complex of heterogeneous symptoms including persistent abdominal pain and dyspepsia (burning sensation) that recur and persist after cholecystectomy,” explains Akram Alashari, MD, a trauma surgeon at Geisinger Medical Center in PA, and author of “THE POWER OF PEAK STATE.”
“PCS is defined as ‘early’ if it occurs in the postoperative period and ‘late’ if it occurs months or years after surgery.”
What causes the burning in the stomach?
“The symptoms of pain and dyspepsia referred to as PCS can be caused by a wide spectrum of conditions, both biliary and extra-biliary.
“About half of the patients with PCS are found to have biliary, pancreatic or gastrointestinal disorders, while the remaining patients have extra-intestinal disease.”
The term extra refers to beyond the intestines, or beyond the bile ducts for “extra-biliary.”
Dr. Alashari says that the biliary causes of PCS include:
Biliary injury, retained cystic duct or common bile duct stones.
“Late PCS can be due to recurrent common bile duct stones, bile duct strictures, an inflamed cystic duct or gallbladder remnant, papillary stenosis or biliary dyskinesia.
“Biliary dyskinesia refers to motor forms of sphincter of Oddi dysfunction. Sphincter of Oddi dysfunction can be evaluated with sphincter of Oddi manometry.”
Dr. Alashari names the following causes for extra-biliary PCS:
Irritable bowel syndrome, pancreatitis, pancreatic tumors, pancreas divisum, hepatitis, peptic ulcer disease, mesenteric ischemia, diverticulitis or esophageal diseases.
Extra-intestinal causes, says Dr. Alashari, are: intercostal neuritis, wound neuroma, coronary artery disease or psychosomatic disorders.
Treating Stomach Burning after Gallbladder Surgery
Dr. Alashari explains, “Treatment for PCS is tailored to the specific cause of the symptoms.
“Diagnosis of the underlying problem causing PCS usually requires imaging to look for retained or recurrent stones or identify a bile duct leak, stricture or transection.
“This can be accomplished in most cases with ultrasound and/or computed tomography (CT) scanning followed by direct cholangiography or magnetic resonance cholangiopancreatography (MRCP).
“MRCP provides a noninvasive alternative to direct cholangiography for evaluation of the biliary tract.”
Dr. Alashari was formerly with Grand Strand Regional Medical Center in SC as an abdominal and critical care surgeon.
Lorra Garrick has been covering medical, fitness and cybersecurity topics for many years, having written thousands of articles for print magazines and websites, including as a ghostwriter. She’s also a former ACE-certified personal trainer.
Top image: Shutterstock/sebra
Burning in Stomach after Gallbladder Surgery: Doctor Explains
Middle Back Pain after Gallbladder Removal: Causes, Solutions?
Severe Upper Right Side Pain After Eating: Causes, Solutions
Prevent Gallbladder Attacks with Five Food Types
A gallbladder disease expert recommends five foods in particular that will help prevent gallbladder attacks.
“There is often a history of fatty food ingestion one hour or more before the initial onset of pain,” begins Akram Alashari, MD, a trauma surgeon at Geisinger Medical Center in PA, and author of “THE POWER OF PEAK STATE.”
“The episode of pain is typically prolonged (greater than four to six hours).”
Five Dietary Changes (Foods) that Can Help Prevent a Gallbladder Attack
Dr. Alashari explains, “The observation that deficiency of ascorbic acid (vitamin C) is associated with the development of gallstones in guinea pigs prompted investigation of the relationship between ascorbic acid levels and gallstones in humans.
“The benefit of ascorbic acid may be related to its effects on cholesterol catabolism.”
#1. Right away you may be thinking whole oranges, but the following fruits have higher vitamin C levels: raw acerola juice (1,600 mg per 100 g serving), raw guava, orange juice, grapefruit juice and raw kiwi. Green and red peppers are loaded with vitamin C.
#2. Dr. Alashari explains, Coffee; moderate coffee consumption was associated with a reduced risk of symptomatic gallstone disease in a cohort study involving 46,000 male health professionals who were followed for up to 10 years.
“Subjects who consistently drank two to three cups of regular coffee per day were approximately 40 percent less likely to develop symptomatic gallstones during follow-up.
“The benefit was even greater in those who drank four or more cups per day (relative risk 0.55). In contrast, decaffeinated coffee was not protective.
“A similar benefit from regular coffee was noted in a cohort study involving 81,000 women.”
#3 and #4. Dr. Alashari says, “Vegetable protein and nuts. The Nurses’ Health Study identified increased consumption of vegetable protein in the context of an energy-balanced diet as a protective factor for cholecystectomy.
“Comparing the highest with the lowest quintiles of intake, the risk was reduced by about 20 percent (relative risk 0.79, 95% CI 0.71 to 0.88), with a significant dose-response relationship.
“There has also been an association of reduced risk of gallstone disease in men associated with the daily consumption of nuts.”
Examples of high protein plant foods besides nuts:
Green peas, quinoa and beans.
#5. Dr. Alashari says to help prevent gallbladder attacks, eat more foods with poly- and monounsaturated fats.
He points out that these beneficial fats “inhibit cholesterol gallstone formation in animals.
Whether diets rich in these fats reduce the risk of gallstone disease was evaluated in the Health Professionals Follow-up Study, a large cohort study of male health professionals begun in 1986.
“After 14 years of follow-up, the relative risk in those in the highest compared with the lowest quintile of polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fat consumption were 0.84 (95% CI 0.73-0.96) and 0.83 (95% CI 0.70-1.00), respectively.
“This suggests that a high intake of polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats in the context of an energy-balanced diet is associated with a reduced risk of gallstone disease in men.”
To help avoid gallbladder attacks, eat such foods as salmon, albacore tuna, cod and halibut, and olive oil and avocados.
Dr. Alashari was formerly with Grand Strand Regional Medical Center in SC as an abdominal and critical care surgeon.
Lorra Garrick has been covering medical, fitness and cybersecurity topics for many years, having written thousands of articles for print magazines and websites, including as a ghostwriter. She’s also a former ACE-certified personal trainer.
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Top image: Shutterstock/KDdesignphoto
Advantages to Having A-Cup Breasts
I have very small breasts (A-cup) and never wanted them to be bigger.
An A-cup bra is actually a tad too big for me; my breasts do not quite fill out the cups, and the cups end up having some crinkles in them because my breasts aren’t big enough to expand out the fabric.
If I go braless, you can’t tell. Breast augmentation is one of the most popular cosmetic surgeries; and the women having this surgery don’t necessarily have A-cup breasts; many are B-cup and want to go to C-cup.
There are many advantages to having small breasts. It’s too bad there are women who are obsessed with getting bigger breasts, who cry every day because their breasts are “too small,” and who are bitter and depressed because they can’t wear low-cut outfits.
When I see a nice top and then see that it’s low cut, instead of hating my breasts for this, I instead curse the manufacturer.
Advantages to Having A-Cup Breasts
#1 Concealment of Double Mastectomy
If you ever have this disease and must have a double mastectomy, nobody will ever suspect you had this terrible illness if you’re small enough (unless there are other tell-tale signs such as suddenly wearing a wig due to chemo).
But many mastectomies are done electively to prevent recurrence or the cancer from developing in the non-cancerous breast.
I can’t imagine the emotional hardship it would be to have to explain to people what happened to your breasts.
With small breasts, the only person who’d know you had the double mastectomy would be your lover, but family members, close friends and co-workers would never, ever know, and you’d be spared the dread of having to tell people you had a life-threatening disease.
#2 Breast Self-Exams
A self-exam is so much easier when the area you’re examining is small.
#3 Minimal Sagging
Small breasts can only sag so much with old age. Their “saggability” is severely limited. When I look at my sub-A-cup breasts, I can’t imagine where they could sag to. They are naturally firm and perky.
#4 Brains
My breasts will never be distracting to a man whom I’m discussing something monumental with.
In other words, I’d like to think that small-breasted women will be taken more seriously, from an intellectual standpoint.
I’m not saying that women who are “well-endowed” can’t be smart. It’s the men who are often the variable here.
Some men can be prone to paying more attention to big breasts than to the brainy woman who is speaking to him.
When I speak to a man, all his attention is focused on what’s coming out of my mouth, not my chest (hopefully).
#5 Sports
Small breasts will never impede athletic performance. I can’t imagine what a detriment the big bosom would be during competitive volleyball, with all the jumping at the net and lunging for the ball. Big breasts would flap around like mad unless tightly bound.
I also run and do jumping drills at the gym. I’ve taken karate and have been smacked in the chest with kicks. This would have more-so hurt with big breasts.
I have done rock-wall climbing. Climbing technique involves keeping the body as flat against the climbing surface as possible to minimize falling backwards.
Big breasts would get in the way. But small ones allowed me to press my body up super-close to the wall.
#6 Rape and Assault
Because I’m so “flat,” I can look quite tomboyish or masculine, depending on my attire. This less-than-classically-feminine appearance will make a man think twice before picking on such a woman.
Small breasts are associated with masculinity or with being a jock. If a man perceives a woman on the street as a jock type or masculine, he is less likely to tangle with her.
But at the same time, small breasts can allow a female to look like 100 percent woman, because instead of fretting about being “flat,” she could focus on her other attributes, such as shapely firm legs and shoulders. And her crowning glory: hair.
Not all men are “breast men.” Some men are “leg men.” Some go for the hair! Glowing skin and sultry eyes will often snag a man’s attention before anything else.
It’s not all about the mammary glands. If you have an A-cup, it’s time to embrace it!
Update: The author of this article eventually had an elective (prophylactic) double mastectomy after learning that her sister had breast cancer. And of course, nobody — not even family members — noticed.
