Why is it that young retirees get asked, “What do you DO all day” but those over 60 never get this oddball question? Let’s make it make sense.
Yes, it’s a peculiar phenomenon: If someone age 45 and especially younger says they’re retired, people ask, “What do you do all day?” or, “How do you fill up all that time?”
When someone 65 says they’ll be retiring soon, nobody asks, “What will you do all day?” or, “What will you do with all that free time?”
Why is this? Is it possible to make this strange question make sense?
First off, let’s make a distinction in just how this question is asked.
It’s problematic when the emphasis is on the “do” or “will” (what will you do all day?) or the “how.”
But if the question is phrased uniformly with no emphasized words, the meaning changes dramatically, such as to a young retiree: “How do you spend all your free time?”
This is out of genuine curiosity rather than some kind of snarky question.
The asker — who presents the question uniformly with no emphasis on “do” or “will” or some other inflection that challenges the validity of early retirement — realizes there’s 18 million things for a young fit body to do in life, and is eager to hear the answer:
Snorkeling quests a few times a month? Skiing? Skydiving? Pottery class? Pickleball tournaments? New sport? Learn a musical instrument? Attend local fairs? Learn to speak Russian? Read every classic novel? Attend symphonies? Join a weekend hiking group? Spend more time at the gym? Spend more time with their teens?
And that’s a perfectly legit question when phrased that way.
But then we have the other kind of phrasing, in which the asker sounds as though they can’t picture a young fit body finding much to do.
Yet ironically, they have no problem picturing a person with an old, tired, slow moving body figuring out how to spend all that free time.
The Great Irony of “What do you DO all day?”
Apparently, a retired person with a younger healthy body (more stamina, no aches, no pains) will have a more difficult time figuring out how to spend their days than will a retiree with a creaking, aching body and perhaps medical conditions that prevent many activities, even more passive activities such as bowling.
Think of all the things that the typical person of 50 can do that the typical person of 70 cannot.
Imagine what that 40-year-old new retiree is going to do with all that time — activities that someone 30 years older would find either impossible or difficult.
Yet that young retiree will get hit with that senseless question.
Now before I go on, it must be pointed out that there are people 65+ who climb mountains, run marathons and compete in powerlifting competitions.
But I’m talking about AVERAGES here. The average 50-year-old is in much better condition than the average 65-year-old.
The average 40-year-old is in much better condition than the average 50-year-old.
So when people who retire at 45 or 40 are asked what they do all day, this is especially vexing because the 40ish body can do so much more than the senior body.
When a 67-year-old, whom everyone knows is suffering from any number of issues such as chronic back or knee pain, and never exercises and hence lacks stamina — takes their retirement, why is it that nobody asks what they’ll be doing all day long, even though their ailing body can’t do very much?
When an aged body is in pain, this affects also the ability to do passive activities.
For instance, older people with chronic low back pain and bum knees may still find it difficult to spend several hours in a chair playing bridge.
Many ailments interfere with the ability to focus on tasks, even from a chair, for extended periods.
This is also sometimes due to side effects from medications taken for those ailments.
The perplexing question is even more out in left field when the young retiree still has kids at home!
Like, maybe once that person is retired, they can spend more time helping their kid in math? Helping them with a science fair project? How about attending their games?
- More time means more patience!
- No “Cat’s in the Cradle”!
Early retirement means more time with the spouse, more time with the dog, more time visiting their parents, more time reconnecting with old friends. The list is endless.
Great Answers to “What Do You DO All Day?”
“I do what YOU do when you’re on vacation from the daily grind.”
“I do what YOU do on Sundays.”
“Whatever I damn well please.”
Or, simply tell them, item by item, what you usually do all day. You can also tell them what you don’t do all day:
“I don’t take orders from someone else.”
“I don’t follow someone else’s schedule.”
“I don’t subject myself to workplace hostility, office politics or coworker nonsense.”
“I don’t rush through my day.”
“I’m not a slave to the clock.”
