Are you autistic and enjoy hiking, but find it difficult to navigate whether or not you should greet fellow hikers? Even some neurotypical people don’t care to do this.
I never initiate a greeting on a hiking trail. But if they greet me first, then I just can’t help but be polite — according to societal expectations — and say “Hi” back.
But I don’t like doing it. It has no meaning to me. That’s the way I’m hardwired to feel. Can’t help it.
Their greeting forces a social interaction — albeit very brief — that I don’t want.
EXCEPTION: Someone is approaching with a German shepherd. I love this breed of dog.
I’m going to ask if I could pet their dog! I’ll strike up a little chitchat pertaining to the dog while I pet it. Well of course!
But back to the typical hiking experience. There are several issues that come with hiking on a trail.
I’ve been hiking and doing some jogging on trails for years, and have learned that there’s always going to be someone who thinks it’s quite fitting to always greet the stranger coming in their direction.
Why this is, I don’t know. Maybe they think it’d be rude to ignore me?
Or maybe they love seeing other fellow human beings enjoying the trail and are eager to greet them?
But what gets me is that, while I’m trotting uphill, someone walking downhill will greet me.
Have you ever sustained a jog uphill? It’s not fun. I do it for fitness, for having the ability to trot uphill. Thus, my respiration is increased — I’m in no mood for producing speech, even if it’s one word like “Hi.”
I may also be jogging faster for a brief high intensity interval. Speaking just one word would be uncomfortable.
In these cases, I’ll just yield a basic wave (lifting only my forearm to about vertical, hand open). I won’t even turn my head towards them. I’m exercising!
However, if you’re on the Spectrum and simply walking on an easy trail, and you don’t feel like producing any speech, yet at the same time, feel guilty over the idea of ignoring a greeter — the solution may very well be to just silently wave.
Overly social people on a trail don’t realize that the last thing someone jogging uphill wants to do is speak.
But even if you’re jogging on a level trail, you don’t owe spoken language to a stranger when you’re breathing hard. Again, just give a silent wave or even a head nod.
If you’re breathing hard on a hike, you don’t have to speak to anyone. If you don’t want to “appear rude,” then wave a hand to acknowledge their greeting.
There’ve been a few times I outright ignored the greeter as I was charging up an inclined portion during an interval training workout, feeling my body becoming depleted.
I think it’s rude to greet someone who visibly is training hard and short on breath.
Whether you’re autistic or neurotypical, you don’t owe a greeting when your body might be feeling uncomfortable on a tough hike.
Also, if you’re autistic, you’re under no obligation to be the first to greet.
The rules of hiking are as follows: Take only pictures; Leave only footprints.
Greetings when on a Group Hike
Many years ago I tried a network marketing business model, in an attempt to eliminate the need to work a full-time traditional job.
Among the first things new distributors learn is the cruciality of engagement with people.
We were told that “people skills” can be learned. We were instructed on how to recruit strangers to attend meetings.
My sponsor was one of my brothers, and he took these instructions and suggestions quite seriously, even though he never had had any issues with socializing in his adult life or childhood.
So one day he invited me on a hike with his then-wife. He was leading, and I was behind him and his wife due to the trail’s narrowness.
He initiated a greeting to every single person who was coming our way — and there were quite a few on the long, popular trail.
I could tell he was doing this as part of his business training. Can you imagine that — greeting every stranger who passes you out of a learned habit?
What bugged me was that it made me feel that I had to join in, when the stranger, who’d always greet my brother back, passed me.
We passed many strangers, and at first, I felt I had to follow suit because he was my sponsor, and I didn’t want him to think that I was neglecting to build my people skills.
Then I realized, Wait a minute here. What’s taken over me? I DO NOT WANT to speak to these strangers passing us by just because my brother keeps saying a big “Hi” and sometimes waving his hand along with it.
I didn’t feel my people skills would improve by greeting other hikers. (This was many years before I began realizing I’m autistic.)
Thus, at some point, I stayed silent as the greeted-to hiker passed me after passing my brother and his wife. It just felt so … UNNATURAL to greet them, so “un-me.”
The takeaway with group hikes is this: Just because someone in your group keeps greeting strangers doesn’t mean you have to!
If it doesn’t “feel like you” to do this, then don’t. It certainly didn’t feel true to me. You have a right to be your authentic self.
Another thing that will help you stay true to yourself, whether on a solitary hike or with others, is to wear sunglasses. This creates a feeling of anonymity as well as a barrier of sorts.
A wide brimmed hat pulled low will also help.
Though I’ll warn you: These tricks won’t stop all determined people from greeting you. There’s just no stopping a hypersocial neurotypical.
But at least you’ll feel less “exposed” by wearing sunglasses and a wide brimmed hat — which will protect your skin from the sun.
Trail Safety
If I’m on an isolated trail, and a man is coming towards me, I will often give eye contact, but I won’t greet unless he greets me first.
The eye contact should last one to one-and-a-half seconds.
A slight nod of acknowledgment seals the deal that you’re confident — a trait that gives predators pause.
The brief eye contact shows that I’m not afraid of him and am asserting dominance, or — to put another way — equality.
Predators seek potential victims who appear afraid or submissive. Averting eye contact often (not always) sends this message!
- Eye contact shows that a woman is very aware of the stranger’s approaching.
- It makes him believe that she can’t be taken by surprise.
James Field, a seventh-degree blackbelt who’s taught self-defense for 40 years, has studied how predators select victims.
The young thugs he’s spoken to named avoidance of eye contact as a key feature in knowing whom to pick as prey.
He highly recommends brief eye contact but NOT a stare-down in circumstances where a predator might want to act — such as on an isolated hiking trail.
Eye contact may also subdue predation because the man then knows a woman can identify him, says Mary Ellen Burns, spokesperson for the Boston Police Department, in an ABC News article about women’s safety.
If the man who’s coming your way on a trail just happens to be a predator — and you keep your head down…this will be a major safety rule break — something I kept hearing in my own martial arts training.
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