Neurotypicals do the strangest things. We Autistics just can’t figure them out.
Sometimes, what makes a behavior “normal” is its commonality.
But frequency of occurrence shouldn’t be a barometer for what’s normal and what’s “odd.”
Imagine a neurotypical trying to fit in with a room full of conversing autistic people.
Imagine him or her sitting at a table of Autistics who all have their fidgets out or are sharing info dumps on their special interests.
The reality is that NTs behave in ways that are perplexing to the autistic mind.
#1…Way too Much Talking About Sex at Parties
I knew Lisa from the gym and went to her birthday party, hoping to match her up with my newly divorced brother; I needed to learn more about her.
The guests were spread throughout the house, and no matter which room I was in, the conversations revolved around sex.
These adults were in their 20s and 30s, a few in their 40s, talking about sex as though they all had just discovered it could be done.
This even happened in a volleyball club get-together at the club organizer’s home.
He asked each player to explain where they liked the ball set to them for a hit (formerly known as a spike).
At first the answers were no-nonsense. Then someone’s answer had a sexual undertone as far as wording.
All ensuing answers could be construed as being sex-act positions.
Each time someone gave their description, there was collective laughter. I found NONE of it amusing.
#2…Beating Around the Bush
A person who can’t stand this isn’t necessarily on the Spectrum.
But in general, Autists don’t care for this conversational tactic and would much rather proceed head-first into a conversation or comment — when it’s time to make one.
Even when Autistics “overshare” or spend too much time on a specific topic, this doesn’t mean they’re beating around the bush.
When someone hems and haws about the message they want to get out, the listener is left wondering for too long just what the message is.
When someone with autism keeps talking in loops, info dumps or can’t get off a topic, at least the listener quickly learns just what the message is. There’s no hemming and hawing, no beating around that proverbial bush.
#3…Jumping on Bandwagons
Neurotypicals are preoccupied with conformity. Getting swept up by trends or “what’s popular” helps them feel blended-in and normal.
I once asked my very NT sister why she had bought an oversized pair of shorts for her adolescent son. Her reply: “These will be in style for a while.”
I also noticed that her five-year-old was wearing sandals with the Tommy Hilfiger insignia.
A much cheaper, but just as functional, pair of sandals from Walmart weren’t good enough for the kindergartener. It’s called preoccupation with status.
Related to these phenomena is the propensity to engage in foolish fads.
Remember the Pet Rock and Mood Ring crazes? Adults were also buying the Tickle Me Elmo doll in droves.
Though these are harmless fads, they blatantly reflect a mob mentality. Autistic people, very by and large, are immune to the herd mentality.
#4…Loud Cheering Before the National Anthem Is Over
Raise your hand if you HATE when the crowd erupts into deafening cheers before a really good singer finishes the National Anthem (including that iconic high note) at a sporting event.
Shut the F#ck up so others can hear!
It just seems to me that the percentage of autistic people in the stands who’d actually partake in this incredibly rude and stupid behavior would be remarkably small.
The yellers would quickly call themselves patriotic, yet think nothing of drowning out someone wonderfully singing the National Anthem.
If you’re impressed by the singing or feel extra patriotic at the game, then keep your mouth zipped until the song is over, then erupt into your yelling all you want.
#5…Touching People They Barely Know
When a man or woman gets touchy-feely (I don’t mean sexual harassment), you can bet they’re neurotypical or have some kind of hypersocial syndrome.
This isn’t to say that an Autistic would never touch someone they barely know.
In fact, it’s very possible that the next autistic individual you meet for the first time may want to put their hand on your shoulder or even “give a hug.”
But I’m convinced that NTs are far more likely to be touchy-feely than are Autists.
I’m the opposite of touchy-feely. I believe it’s just plain intrusive to touch a person when you’re talking with them — someone you barely know and especially someone you just met, AND especially if it’s a business interaction.
