Afraid buff people at the gym will stare at you when you’re exercising? Here’s what they REALLY look at.
Many morbidly obese and even moderately overweight people report that they have a case of gym intimidation; too self-conscious to go to a health club, especially during its most crowded times.
They believe they’ll be the center of attention due to their size.
If this describes you, then try the following thought experiment.
Imagine you’re inside a gym, and there are many people inside as well.
- What kind of gym member would grab your attention and hold it?
- What sort of gym patron would make you stare at her?
- What traits would this person have that would compel you to put down the dumbbell and just … stare?
Let me guess. What would seize your attention and make you keep staring at that individual might be any of the following:
- She has a dog with her.
- She’s covered from head to toe with tattoos.
- She’s lifting unbelievable amounts of weight.
- She has magenta spiked hair and keeps singing out loud while dancing around on the main floor.
It’s a safe bet that if you were working out at a gym — regardless of your body weight — you would not be staring at other people there just because they’re obese.
Likewise, those with buff bodies won’t be staring at you because they’re just too interested in their own program.
If you saw a woman who appeared to have anorexia nervosa … you’d stare — yes, you would — possibly for longer than a moment.
It’s human nature to take a look at someone who doesn’t blend in.
I was once staring at a very plump, pear shaped, grey haired woman who was doing the deadlift exercise.
If she had low self-worth, she might’ve thought I was looking at her with disdain.
However, what caught my attention was three things: 1) how much she was lifting, 2) her body shape, and 3) her apparent age (she could have been 60).
A deadlift of 265 pounds is very impressive for a woman. It’s damn heavy.
It’s nowhere near the national record, but it’s still a kickass amount of weight.
Usually, when a woman pulls this amount of weight, her body (even if it’s overweight) looks “trained.” This woman’s didn’t.
I would’ve had the same thought process had she been thin.
I was quite impressed. If she had been simply pedaling on the elliptical machine or sitting on a bench using small dumbbells, I would have never noticed her.
Her relatively short torso, large hands and ample pear shape (provides more lower body stability) gave her a mechanical advantage with the deadlift.
I hoped she competed in powerlifting competitions (her squat was pretty darned good, too!).
People Will Always Stare at People in a Gym
People will stare at the very overweight, the very thin, the very muscled, the very tall, the very tattooed, the very purple hair and the very average looking.
You cannot let this stop you from working out your body. And if a few people are looking at you for too long, how do you know it’s because of your size?
Maybe the two thin women who are watching you are admiring your hair.
In all fairness, you need to accept the fact that, if you’re exceptionally large, some people will watch you to see what kind of exercise you’ll be doing.
But even THIS depends on what it seems like you’re about to do. If you get onto cardio equipment, I doubt anyone would stare.
But if a 280 pound woman heads to an incline bench press station and loads a barbell with a 45 pound plate on each side — she WILL be stared at — because that’s an impressive amount of weight.
Let Go of the Stereotype
Let’s not stereotype people with “great bodies” as being hostile in judgment. They may have once been fat.
Now I’ll be honest: If she’s wearing revealing clothes, she’s going to be noticed.
And I’ll be frank: If you want to minimize how much you’re noticed in a gym, then don’t wear revealing clothes.
You do NOT have to wear a crop top at the gym to prove to yourself you’re body confident. If you want body confidence, learn to pick up heavy barbells. Learn to throw some serious weight around.
People will look at you because you just walked into the area. People look at ME when I newly enter a workout area.
People will always look at the new person who enters a room. This will happen to you, whether you’re 280 pounds or 118 pounds.
You can’t change human nature, and this includes the fact that people will look a little longer at those whose bodies are outside the “norm.”
Now if you’re very large, people will note this no matter where you are: movie theatre, bank, post office, dentist’s office, nail salon, tire shop, furniture shop, drug store, grocery store…and health club.
Those with buff bodies and six-packs are too concerned about their own bodies to stop what they’re doing to stare at yours for longer than what human nature would elicit.
If you want to prove to yourself that you have real confidence, then you must realize that life is full of intimidating circumstances — and many of those are within your control — like going inside a gym and training hard.
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