I walked into the gym’s locker room and saw a woman with an Instagram body posing in a mirror, the kind you see by influencers with massive followings.
I kind of caught it at the last second due to the nature of the locker room setup.
I passed her as I was making a turn to walk to my locker at the opposite end.
But I had to glance back, and by then, she was no longer posing and was at a locker.
The posing that I had witnessed was a common one seen in Instagram posts by influencers with the “perfect body.”
Clad in classic workout attire revealing a svelte waist, she was positioning her body to accentuate her round firm butt while sucking in her tummy and throwing back her shoulders. And the leg positioning, of course.
I hadn’t been able to tell if she’d been taking a picture or just experimenting with poses for whatever reason – be it just to view her body or to rehearse for future Instagram shots.
For all I knew, she had half a million followers on Instagram, or, for all I knew, she had only 90 and was aiming to get into the big leagues someday.
She definitely had the body for it; that typical “Instagram body.”
So why am I writing about a stranger I saw in the gym locker room doing what appeared to be practicing her Instagram poses?
Because as I was heading towards my locker, I thought of the reality that there exist young women who would’ve been outright triggered had they seen her.
This is incomprehensible to me. I cannot wrap my head around how the mere noticing of a young woman doing this could trigger up many women.
Thirty years ago, this scene wouldn’t have triggered a fraction of the women it would today.
How Not to Get Triggered by a Woman with an Instagram Body
These women have a right to exist. Some work very hard for their body.
But if you believe that many look like that naturally without any effort, then that’s still no reason to get triggered.
Being triggered is actually a form of judgment.
Being triggered is actually a form of judgment.
By being triggered, you are judging that woman for having “the body I’ve always wanted” or “the body I could never have.”
Getting triggered by this, whether you realize it or not, is a manifestation of your resentment towards her.
Ask yourself: What business is it of yours that some stranger in the gym or on Instagram has a “perfect” body or the body you’ve always dreamed of?
Is it enough of your business to get set off about it? NO.
Think about that good and hard; it might help you get less upset next time you spot a woman with perfectly flat abs and a thigh gap posing “unrealistically” to create the illusions that her body is perfect from head to toe.
- Why are you making her body your business?
- You shouldn’t do this any more than strangers should make your body their business!
Next, you might want to consider that somewhere out there are women who, upon seeing your body, could get triggered — because they’d love to have a body like yours. It’s all relative.
They could be a size 14 and envying your size 10 or even 12 body; the envy could be strong enough to be dipping into trigger territory.
What would you think if you knew that the size 18 woman you just passed in the gym got triggered at your size 10 body?
Would you want to tell her, “Oh, you shouldn’t feel any distress; it’s just my ‘ol body, and what’s more important is health and fitness”?
Well maybe that size 6 woman I saw might want to say the same thing to you.
Women need to be mature enough to accept the reality that there will ALWAYS be women who have a body feature that they can never have.
To sulk every time you see a woman whose body you wish you had is, quite bluntly, childish and immature.
The Body Diversity Paradox
Body image influencers aim to normalize the so-called body diversity.
They say things like “Bodies come in all different sizes and shapes.”
Or, they might say, “It’s normal for bodies to come in different flavors.”
But when they see a woman with a body they’d love to have – suddenly those messages go down the drain.
Isn’t a size 6, toned body with “perfect” arms and divine abs part of all that body diversity?
Or are 5’6, 125 pound women with perfect proportions and the absence of cellulite excluded from a world where “bodies come in all shapes and sizes”?
NOW who’s doing the judging?
NOW who’s doing the judging?
I’ve always wanted to be six feet tall. Does this mean every time I see a taller woman, I get triggered? Heavens no.
Do I envy her? Yes! In fact, I have a recurring dream where I’m around women who are all at least half a foot to a foot taller than myself (I’m 5’8).
I can’t make myself get taller without heels. This is the grim reality. But I sure as hell don’t get all triggery about it.
You might be thinking, “But wait – that’s the point; you can’t change your height. But it’s always possible to lose some weight, to get firmer with exercise, to maybe get some liposuction — so that’s why women get triggered when they see a body they’d love to have.”
Okay, but — you still shouldn’t get set off. If you want firmer upper arms, then strength train. It works like magic.
If you’re not getting results, then hire a trainer. If you can’t afford one, then lift intensely, because light weight workouts won’t do much to overhaul flabby arms.
I’d love to have a natural tan. If I sunbathe enough, I’ll get a bronze tan.
But there’s a problem: skin cancer risk. There’s yet another problem: wrinkly crinkly skin as I get older. Tanning sprays are no good.
Do I get triggered every time I see a woman with an enviable skin tone? NO. That would be just way too immature.
It’s time to grow up and DEAL. There will always be women who have a physical feature that you’ll never have or will need to struggle to achieve.
Life is way too short to keep getting triggered by slimmer women; celebrities or Instagram stars who are “getting smaller”; women with thinner thighs or tight upper arms; women with rounder butts or flatter tummies.
- Ask yourself if you should keep going on this way.
- Find out the REAL reason you get triggered this way.
- Because it goes much deeper than body insecurity – unless you look like a gargoyle.
If you’ve been seeing a therapist for years, then maybe it’s time to get a new therapist who’s not afraid to help you dig deeper to unearth the root cause of your significant body insecurities.
