Are you plus size and battling the anxiety about wearing a bikini?
Ask yourself why having the “confidence” to do this is SO important in your life.
When your mother was rocking you as a baby, was she hoping that one day you’d be strutting around in a bikini?
It’s a safe bet that she was imagining far loftier things for you.
With the growing momentum of the body positivity movement, it’s become increasingly meaningful for throngs of plus size women to muster up the “confidence” to finally wear a bikini.
For those full-figured women who have not yet breached this obstacle, it can be distressing every time they see women their size showing off scant swimwear.
The Million Dollar Questions
• Why is it so crucial to have a bikini on your body?
• Why are other plus-size bikini wearers your objects of envy?
• How did you get to a place where something that — in the grand scheme of things — is so trite — can be so important to you?
You Are More than a Body.
A Bikini Won’t Make You Worthy.
By shifting the focus to “Big women should proudly wear bikinis,” the body positivity movement has put the focus ON A WOMAN’S BODY.
Why not work on the confidence to, say, get your college degree or master’s?
How about the confidence to pursue the sport of powerlifting – a sport for which your size would not be a hindrance?
Why not yearn for the confidence to pursue a black belt in karate and compete in your first tournament? A karate uniform is baggy and covers the entire body.
How DARE any bopo influencer suggest that a plus size woman who covers herself up lacks confidence!
- Save yourself the agony.
- Stop losing sleep over “that bikini” you saw online.
As a former personal trainer, I am 100 percent for training hard and always striving to improve one’s body composition.
I stand by the medical establishment that excess body fat is a contributing factor to many diseases, and that obesity is the leading cause of preventable death.
However, I’d like to believe that an obese woman can do better than to allow a stranger on Instagram manipulate her into thinking that she can take back her power by forcing herself to put on “that bikini.”
It’s like you’re nervously always standing at the edge of the high dive, looking far down at the water.
GET OFF THE HIGH DIVE. You don’t have to be there!
To allow yourself to become sucked into this vortex of objectification by some Instagram mogul is anything but a sign of self-confidence.
Indifference Is Not Confidence
Just because very large woman doesn’t care what others think of her body doesn’t mean she has confidence. It means she doesn’t care.
Now, she may have confidence by coincidence, but the bikini isn’t the predictor of the confidence.
Suppose you see a very overweight woman wearing tight, form-fitting clothes. Let’s also suppose there’s cellulite even in her calves. Let’s pretend her hair is grimy looking and tangly.
Does the fact that she’s in public looking this way mean she has confidence?
It’s indifference. She doesn’t care. Indifference is not the same as confidence.
The news flash is that if you one day get talked into wearing a bikini by your Instagram idol, you will NOT wake up the next day with courage from the bikini to — for instance — leave an abusive relationship, face your rapist in court, quit your job and start a business, pursue your doctorate, fight your HOA or any other life circumstance that requires self-assurance and feistiness to rally against.
Stop putting so much stock in a swimsuit.
Wear it because YOU want to wear it, NOT because a stranger on Instagram with half a million followers is telling you to.
And not because her dazed followers are posting their “I finally wore a bikini!” comments.
Wear it because you’d wear it even if you were the last person on earth.
Don’t get me wrong now. If you intrinsically, inherently feel comfortable in scant swimwear because that’s just your natural nature, then by all means, put on that stylish swimsuit.
BUT…this fad of plus size women wearing bikinis in the name of “I finally did it!” as a way to nullify the “beauty standards” is hopefully running towards the end of its course.
Lorra Garrick is a former personal trainer certified through the American Council on Exercise. At Bally Total Fitness she trained women and men of all ages for fat loss, muscle building, fitness and improved health.