The strange assumption is that if a plus size woman keeps her big “curves” shrouded at the beach, she lacks self-confidence and self-love.

But there is absolutely no evidence that there’s a correlation between self-confidence/self-love and the willingness to bare your midriff, cleavage and every millimeter of your thighs on the beach by wearing a bikini.

That plus size woman, who’s strolling along the boardwalk in a swimsuit with flowing attire wrapped around her waist to shield the massive cellulite and fat deposits on her legs, doesn’t necessarily practice self-hate.

Maybe she just practices her idea of sensibility when it comes to what she wears in public.

Where are the studies by psychologists and human behavior experts proving – or even remotely suggesting – that wanting to keep a fat body “covered up” in public is a sign of low self-confidence and not loving oneself?

And how do we know that the very large women who pose in bikinis and post to Instagram really DO have all this self-love that they proclaim?

It can be argued there’s many ways to exhibit self-love. For example, sticking to healthy eating, keeping one’s weight in a medically acceptable range, and working out with barbells, would be signs that someone loves themselves enough to take proper care of their body.

And if a woman, at even 135 pounds, feels “uncomfortable” wearing a two piece suit to the beach, and instead opts for a one-piecer, who the hell are the body positive influencers to call out this woman on her alleged lack of self-love?

  • Maybe her self-love arises from the love and adoration she gets from her two young kids and doting husband.
  • Perhaps it’s rooted in how valued her parents made her feel when she was growing up.

If she wants to keep her tummy stretch marks concealed and doesn’t want people to see her muffin top, SO WHAT. Leave her alone.

If she decides to wrap a piece of fabric or oversized towel around her waist to hide the cellulite and stretch marks on her legs, who are the bopo influencers to brand her as having poor self-confidence?

Quite frankly, how DARE they?

If you feel at ease sprawling on the beach with your larger than life body in a tight bikini, then fine.

But you deserve no more accolades than the big – or trimmer – woman who “keeps it covered up” who’s enjoying the beach breeze 50 feet from you.

You are in no position to boast you have more self-love than she does just because you don’t care what strangers think about your belly rolls and thunder thighs.

We’ve all seen women in public with unkempt hair, drab clothes, no makeup, hairy legs – obviously not caring what others think about their appearance.

Does this mean these women love themselves? If anything, they likely have very poor self-worth and aren’t exactly hitting the jackpot in the self-love area.

It’s difficult to believe that when a woman does not care what strangers think about her body that this means self-love.  

And caring what strangers think about your body does NOT mean self-hate or, to put it more gently, absence of self-love.

Instead of posing for photos to show strangers on the Internet whom you’ll never meet in person, why not take that plus size body that you love so much and do something productive with it—such as jogging or briskly walking along that beach?

Image source: