If the idea of wearing shorts or crop tops makes you self-conscious or nervous, then DON’T WEAR THEM. Don’t complicate this. Allison Kimmey
You don’t have to wear clothes that make you feel embarrassed or super self-conscious just because someone on Instagram is flaunting HER cutoff top, short-shorts or bikini.
I’ve worked with plenty of overweight women as a personal trainer.
One of the things I often heard from them was how the idea of wearing certain clothes made them feel very uneasy, self-conscious and even “afraid.” Allison Kimmey
I had a simple solution. It went as follows:
Don’t wear clothes that make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Problem solved.
“But I want to look GOOD in (fill in the blank),” some would reply.
I’d respond, “When you believe you’ll look good in shorts or what-have-you, you’ll know, and that’s when it’s time to wear the clothes you truly want to wear.
“You may wake up one day and suddenly feel like putting on a pair of shorts or buying shorts if you don’t have them.
“But until that day comes, there’s no point in stewing over it. Let it go.
“For instance, I’d never be caught dead in a sundress. It’s just not me. I don’t care if seven out of 10 women wear sundresses. I’ll never wear one.
“And I’m okay with that because…I’ll never wear one! It would make absolutely NO sense to fret over how I’d look in a sundress because…I’ll never wear one! It’s NOT ME.
“So if you feel that shorts, cutoff tops or bikinis aren’t you, then the solution is simple: Don’t wear them.”
This little lecture would really open my plus size clients’ eyes. They’d realize that, indeed, they were allowing themselves to get all worked up over nothing.
If you get nervous over the idea of wearing certain clothes because of how much skin they’d show, then this means you don’t really want to wear those clothes.
Would you wear a particular kind of shoe, boot, hat or jewelry if it made you feel uncomfortable in any way? Of course not.
Nobody needs to tell you not to buy that green pair of shoes, that gaudy long necklace or those big silly earrings if you don’t like how those would look on you.
It’s the same with short shorts, cutoff tops and certain kinds of swimsuits.
If you don’t like the way you’d look in them – then instead of getting all worked up and permitting yourself to feel “scared” or self-conscious – DON’T WEAR THEM.
You should not feel guilted or pressured by some woman on Instagram to wear these any more than you’d allow yourself to get pressured into wearing those bland shoes, weird earrings, nutty-looking hat or unbecoming necklace.
It’s perfectly okay for a plus size woman to wear a cover-up at the beach over a one-piece swimsuit instead of flaunting “everything.” After all, you’re more than a body, right? Allison Kimmey
Worthiness not Dictated by Clothes
By freeing yourself of this absurd idea that you “have to” wear certain clothes to confirm your self-worth or self-love, you will free yourself of an 800 pound gorilla on your shoulders.
Showing a lot of skin in public is NOT a sign of self-love or self-confidence in a woman. It’s nothing more than a fashion choice or a selection based on physical comfort.
There are many plus size women who avoid shorts, sleeveless shirts, crop tops and two-piece swimsuits who have a ton of self-love and confidence, and feel plenty worthy.
How worthy we feel actually begins in very early childhood by how our primary caretakers interact with us.
This is why even the most conventionally beautiful, size 6 woman may still feel “unworthy” and rotten inside.
If you’re overweight, you do not have to wear clothes that make you feel uneasy or self-conscious. End of story.