Why has the concept of self-love been equated with wearing a bikini to the beach? Since when has self-love been equated with what a woman wears?
Are we really naïve enough to believe that when an obese woman dons clothes that society says she’s too big to wear, her years of self-hate will suddenly dissolve and she’ll begin loving herself?
Do psychotherapists believe they’ll be put out of business by this bikini self-love fad that’s sweeping the nation?
Putting on a bikini will not undo the mental harm that was done to a woman that makes it hard for her to love herself.
Even with top-notch psychotherapy, a transformation of self-depreciation to self-love can take months on end to start showing.
It just can’t be as easy as slipping on a bikini.
Self-Love Is Important
We all should have this. Many women and men don’t. Some people outright detest themselves, and they come in all sizes.
You can’t fix this by deciding to wear a bikini from now on. All that will do is make it feel routine to wear a bikini in public.
But inside you will still be battling sadness, lack of confidence or other demons that have plagued you for years.
The converse is also true: A woman can have self-love but still feel aghast at the idea of wearing a bikini in public, or even a one-piece swimsuit, shorts or a tank top.
This isn’t the same as body dysmorphic disorder, in which a person focuses on a specific body part and imagines it’s so flawed that when they go out in public, they think people are staring at and talking about that flawed part – such as their nose, upper lip or calves.
I’m referring to the normal, basic vanity that most human beings possess.
There is nothing wrong with being self-conscious to the point that you cover yourself up from the waist down when at the beach.
- I wonder how many bopo influencers won’t leave the house until their face and eyes are perfectly made up and every hair in place.
- How many would never wear shorts in public with hairy legs? Hmmm, isn’t that interesting?
If a woman refuses to bear her legs in public unless they’re silky smooth and every hair has been shaved down, why is it that the issue of self-love never crops up?
Bopo influencers never say, “Hey, you should learn to love your legs in their natural state; forego shaving and go hairy in public! This is what self-love is all about!”
Bopo’ers will never preach, “Ditch the makeup! Society says women must wear makeup. Well eff that beauty standard!”
It’s a totally whacked idea that self-love equates to how much of your body you expose in public.
So if a fat woman owns 48 bikinis and wears one every day in public, she must be oozing with self-love.
And if a fat woman prefers one-pieces with swimwear cover-ups? Gee, she must hate herself, right?
Look, if plus size women like to wear skimpy clothes, then that’s one thing.
But it’s pretty insulting to the other large women to hear that they must not love themselves just because they prefer more conservative attire. Let’s end this madness.