According to a study, loneliness kills more than obesity.
But what about the health effects of rejection?
There are those who, by others’ standards, are lonely (because they are alone). But these alone-people may be so fed up with the evil, greed and other negative traits of people that they have no desire to seek out friendships.
They aren’t truly lonely.
An obese woman posted to social media that after she read that loneliness is a bigger killer than obesity, she was now reluctant to lose more weight after already having lost some weight.
She said weight loss would help her live longer — but living longer would mean more time to suffer with her difficulty at getting people to like her.
Loneliness Kills More than Being Very Overweight?
The Brigham Young University study concludes that loneliness and social isolation may boost the risk of premature death by up to 50 percent.
The study investigators analyzed two meta-analyses of studies that examined possible links between social isolation, loneliness and premature death.
Total number of adults covered by the meta-analyses was 3.7 million (300,000 for the first and 3.4 million for the second).
- Data from the first = risk of early death 50 percent lower for those with a greater connection with people, compared to those who were socially isolated.
- Data from the second = social isolation, loneliness and living alone were linked to risk of premature death.
- The early death risk was equal to or greater to that which is associated with obesity.
What are the solutions?
How do you reinvent yourself so that people find you enthralling rather than boring or annoying?
If people respond to you negatively because you have bad body odor, cuss or interrupt a lot, or are always telling dirty jokes, this has a straightforward and quick fix.
On the other hand, if you rub people the wrong way no matter how much you try to follow the rules of social etiquette, how do you fix something that can’t be pinpointed or quantified or qualified (such as frequently using foul language or criticizing peoples’ religions)?
What if you’ve reinvented yourself several times and still get the same result: people just don’t care for you?
How do you fix weird?How do you correct diffuse oddness?
Desirable behavior can be taught, such as a firm handshake, looking people in the eye when speaking to them, smiling more in social situations, abstaining from interrupting, etc.
But if an oddball “different” person follows these rules, they will still come off as “too weird” or eccentric.
Conversely, a person who doesn’t follow the rules of etiquette can still be the most dynamic, likeable person in a crowded room!
Another point to consider: For the socially awkward introvert, following those rules could be very stressful and burn them out.
Thus, there’s more to winning people over and making friends than following some guidelines like an automaton.
If you’re feeling lonely and are obese, don’t quit trying to lose weight.
If you’ve never “fit in,” should you give up seeking friendships?
“I firmly believe every lid has a pot, and vice versa,” says Rupali Chadha, MD, former chief of medical staff at Metropolitan State Hospital in Norwalk, CA.
“There is that odd person’s tribe out there somewhere,” continues Dr. Chadha.
“Social media can help connect people, but then interactions must go offline to truly have an impact in wellness.
“Social media is a great first step and tool, but it cannot be our whole social life.
“And if someone does have a social habit that is unappealing and THEY want to change it, they can!
“Therapy may help to understand why they behave that way to begin with. Perhaps it’s predicated on some belief that does not serve them anymore?
“If they are open to change (and that is key), they can. Otherwise, if they love their quirks, they just need to find their tribe.”
In addition to general psychiatry, 
