Anorexics have very disturbing reasons why they want to be thin – reasons that differ from why “normal” women want to be thin. Some reasons defy logic.
Many women want to be “thin.” And a woman with a healthy sense of self will put limits or a cut-off point on how much weight she loses.
She will recognize that, for instance, on her 5’8 frame, anything under 125 pounds is unacceptable.
Typical women and those with anorexia nervosa may cite the same reasons for wanting a thin body, such as, “Thin women get noticed more by men.”
However, in seeking out a skinny body, anorexic women do not recognize a cut-off point. Why get down to 75 pounds? Isn’t 105 thin enough? Isn’t 95 thin enough?
I collected reasons anorexic women want to be thin off of an anorexia forum thread titled “Why do you want to be thin?”
Mind-Blowing Reasons
“Fear of losing boyfriend to a skinnier girl.”
Are you sure your boyfriend wants to feel all the bumps of your spinal column as he hugs you and gazes into your sunken eyes?
“Let me be miserable and everything going wrong in my life, but at least I’m thin.”
Depositphotos.com
I actually feel the same way as far as falling back on my body when life throws huge curveballs. However, my fallback isn’t a thin, frail, sickly body. It’s a strong, lean body with muscle development.
When life gets “miserable” I just remind myself how much weight I can deadlift at the gym. Such a reminder instantly shrinks those curveballs.
So to combat misery in life, why not achieve a body that can function impressively, rather than achieve one that looks sickly and IS sickly?
“For control; everything else is out of control, but nobody has a say in how much food I eat. I can at least control THAT.”
The odd thing here is that anorexia nervosa screams LACK of control.
How can you feel in control when your body is withering away, heading towards permanent kidney damage, heart damage and hair falling out? What kind of control is THAT?
Nevertheless, it’s perhaps the leading reason, whether or not the individual realizes it.
“Having control of eating is the only control a person has in their hectic life,” says Dr. Divyansu Patel, MD, a psychiatry specialist for 15+ years.
Dr. Patel explains, “One example is overbearing or very controlling parents. The only thing they can control is food intake. ‘My parents don’t let me make any decisions or do anything, so not eating is my way to control me.’”
“To feel powerful and unstoppable.”
How powerful can you feel if you’re too weak to take the garbage out? Imagine how powerful and “unstoppable” you’d feel if you nourished your nutrition-starved body back to health and took up strength training!
Freepik.com, yanzlya
There’s no feeling of power like being able to deadlift 200 pounds! Okay, so I seem fixated on the deadlift, but I can put this another way:
Imagine how powerful and unstoppable you’d feel if:
• You took up strength training.
• You practiced how to be more assertive and developed your own voice.
• You stopped hanging with toxic people.
“Fatness makes me feel ashamed and impure; people will think I’m lazy.”
Many non-anorexics feel this way, but the difference is that the anorexic woman believes that the only alternative to “fatness” is an emaciated body.
Why such extreme, binary thinking? A weight of 110 pounds on a 5’5 frame is miles from “fatness,” so why keep starving down to 70 pounds?
“Perfectionist, feel superior to other women, thin = superior.”
Know how I feel superior to other women? I think you can figure that out by now.
But it’s fair to add that feeling “superior” should also come in the form of intellectual and mental prowess—rather than from starvation.
“Lose the appearance of sexuality.”
Interesting, but see the next reason…
“I like my ribs sticking out, etc. I like being really really thin. You feel more sexual that way.”
Very intriguing opposing reasons.
“Early menstruation stole my childhood. At least I can have a childhood body.”
Depositphotos.com
I’ve seen anorexic women with adult hairdos and wearing makeup.
If you want to have a “childhood” appearance, why not stay healthy but wear a juvenile hairstyle, juvenile clothes and skip the makeup? At least you won’t damage your kidneys this way.
“I don’t want to be noticed.”
Ironically, nothing gets MORE noticed when a woman—all 70 pounds of her—enters a room. An anorexic body will grab the attention of everyone in the room.
Who WON’T notice every bone in the back jutting out and thighs as thin as forearms? If you don’t want to be noticed, then gaining enough weight back to look average and blended-in will surely do the trick.
“I want to look like those people in magazines.”
This begs the question: If a woman wishes to look like “those people in magazines,” why didn’t she stop losing weight when her weight finally matched theirs?
Since when does Jennifer Aniston or Gwen Stefani weigh 80 pounds? What Victoria’s Secret model is under 100?
Most film stars and even runway models are NOT as thin as Angelina Jolie. Just which “magazine people” are anorexics trying to look like?
“To get attention for being sick and weak.”
The woman who posted this said that the only positive attention she got in childhood was for her several surgeries. Very unfortunate.
“I hate the idea of growing up; it terrifies me – to be visibly sick so nobody forces responsibility on me. I wish I could find something to live and grow up for.”
Control Is a Common Theme
Another poster said it was her way of defying her “control freak stepfather.”
Another young woman, citing the control that being dangerously thin made her feel, said that her parents actually chose her college major.
Dr. Patel cites additional reasons that drive an adolescent, teenager or woman to develop the disordered desire to become as thin as possible:
“Athletic or extracurricular activities that require a person to maintain a certain weight, i.e., dancers, gymnast, ice skaters and etc. ‘My coach told me to lose some weight.’”
Keep in mind that the vast majority of female athletes who hear this from their coach will not develop anorexia nervosa.
Dr. Patel also says, “Being bullied at a younger age about being obese, which tends to give negative body image.”
Though he points out that name-calling and viewing “prettier and skinnier” girls can be driving forces, the real sledgehammer is the quest for control.
“I think subconsciously it is the feeling of control that one wants, but nowadays a person who is constantly bullied about being fat can distort their self-image.”
Dr. Patel
