Surprisingly, the childless couple gets flack from people they just meet! If you’re childless by choice, you must be ready to put these numbskulls in their place.

If someone says to you:

“Don’t you think it’s selfish not to have kids?” (or something with the word “selfish” in it)

Say, “What have YOU done for charity lately? Every month I take my dog to the nursing home and give my time to bring joy to those lonely residents.

I’m always contributing something to Good Will, and I make donations to (list the foundations). I also volunteer for Special Olympics and make it a point never to make rude comments to nice people.

So…tell me how YOU give YOUR time to making the world a better place to live.” Smile sweetly and watch the person get tongue-tied.

“You may not want kids, but what about your husband? ALL men want kids!”

Say, “Really? There are 2 billion men on this planet. Have you spoken to all of them?”

Then say, “I don’t care what all men want. MY man wants to be childfree like me. Wanna take it up with him? He’s got a few moments to speak with you after his anger management class.”

“But having kids will make you a complete woman!”

Say, “Every month I get a real nasty case of PMS, and I look hot in a mini skirt and my husband thinks I’m the sexiest thing alive, so don’t go telling me I’m an incomplete woman. By the way, did you know you have excess hair under your nose?”

“Why don’t you like children?”

Say, “Do you have a puppy?” Ask this only if you know the person doesn’t have one. Then ask, “Gee, how come you don’t like puppies?”

Then get more serious and say point-blank, “Where’s the data that states that just because a woman chooses to be childless, that they don’t like kids?”

Wait for response, and smirk a little as the person realizes you just cornered her (or him).

If you actually don’t like kids (which is true for some childless by choice couples), then be honest.

You see, when you attempt to deny the truth, this gives more opportunity for the person to hassle you.

But if you admit you don’t like kids (if that’s true), then the person might be left wondering how to hassle you.

Say, “If I had kids, I wouldn’t know what to do with them.” Then smile. Chances are high that the person will clam up.

If all of this fails, interrupt the rude person with an authoritative voice: “Guess what! Time to change the subject! How much do you earn at work?”

I realize that these responses are more brazen than what many women (and men) would feel comfortable with using, but you can modify these responses or leave out their concluding zingers. Being childless by choice does not give people a pass on being rude.