It’s strange but true: Women who hate their height the most aren’t the tallest women out there; they tend to be around 5-10. And actually, 5-10 is no longer all that tall for a woman.
More and more these days, I see young women who are clearly at least six feet. My niece is 5-10 and she just doesn’t seem that tall.
The reason it seems as though the women who hate their height the most are 5-10 rather than, say, 6-2, is due to the posts on a website for tall women that I followed several years ago.
The site allowed users to post feelings and experiences related to their height. There was an endless scroll of posts categorized by year.
I noticed that the women who complained most about their height were 5-10. The site’s moderator named 5-10 as the minimum height to be considered a tall woman.
The women’s posts included their height. So it was easy to see what heights correlated to the most self-hatred.
I’m not talking about posts like, “I’m 5-10 but I sure wish I was 5-7.” I’m talking about posts in which these women, standing only 5-10, talked as though they were giants and freaks.
• Some admitted they cried frequently over their stature.
• Some said they slouched in public and always wore flats.
• A common complaint was being sick to death of being asked about their height.
• Some said they were so depressed that life wasn’t worth living.
• Others admitted they’d thought of suicide.
• Others blamed their height on not being able to get a man.
• All of these features were often rolled into a single post.
Common complaints also included dreading standing in lines or in elevators, attending parties or social functions and being “unable to” wear heels.
There were posts of sore backs from chronic slouching; sitting at social functions as much as possible; refusal to stand when it was socially expected (such as when being introduced to a person who was standing); lying about height on driver’s licenses and medical forms, etc.
Five foot ten was the magic height here – the one that no woman wanted.
Meanwhile, the women who posted how they embraced their tall stature, loved every inch, flaunted it with high heels, wouldn’t trade it for any other height – they all tended to be 6-0 to 6-3.
They loved being “way above” crowds, stood tall and never slouched, wore high heels as much as their feet could tolerate, loved hearing comments about their height and were very body positive.
And unlike the 5-10 Debbie Downers, they attributed their success at dating TO their height, claiming that it attracts many men.
What the devil is going on here?
Let’s consult the School of Common Sense. The School states that 5-10 is somewhat of a grey area. It’s tall for a woman but average for a man.
So when a woman stands 5-10, she sees herself as being right in there among the masses of men, making her feel masculine, unfeminine, unattractive.
Slouching then becomes an appealing solution because a little slouching will put them into the range of “normal” women’s height.
Adding insult to injury is that 5-10 can be perceived as just missing the cut, just missing out on the “normal” range.
Such a despondent woman often thinks, “If I were just two inches shorter. Even ONE inch would make a difference!”
She is forever trying to pass herself off as being in the upper end of the “normal” range by walking and standing with a slouch.
It’s like she’s ALMOST there…almost, almost. She just missed the #&%# cut!
Yet she’s tall enough to get attention for it. She’s eye to eye with the average man. Heels are out of the question.
What about the 6-2 or 6-3 woman?
The School of Common Sense explains that this is so far out of the so-called normal height range for women, that slouching is futile. It conceals nothing.
Flats don’t conceal it, either, so why not wear those fabulous heeled shoes that go so well with the new outfit? You may as well, because even in flats you’re still going to be quite tall!
The 6-2 woman is not prone to frequent ruminations of just missing the cutoff point to the normal height range because she’s nowhere near it.
So that’s two components now that are eliminated:
• Slouching all the time
• Constant brooding about missing the cut
Because the average man in the U.S. stands 5-10, a height of 6-2 (plus or minus) is out of range for even the average man.
A woman of this height, then, is not perceived as being “like a man” but rather, in a unique, third category: exceptionally tall woman.
She’s not eye to eye with the average man, but looking down on him. This doesn’t make her feel manly; it makes her feel like a goddess.
She is so far out of range from “normal” women that it’s easier for her to own her height, to embrace it and relish in it.
You will find more slouchers among 5-10 women than you will among women even at 6-4 and 6-5. Hopefully, these lessons from the School of Common Sense have made this strange phenomenon easy to understand.