Why does it seem that those with high functioning autism get the brunt of abuse while those who are low functioning get treated better?
Once again, I met a Level 1 autistic woman (diagnosed at 38; let’s call her Rori) who described how her parents had neglected and abused her, while her neurotypical sister was “the golden child.”
If you’re wondering why it seems that most mistreatment of Autistics by their parents, siblings and teachers is directed towards those with Level 1 ASD (aka high functioning or mild), as opposed to “severe” or “profound” autism – you are definitely not imagining this phenomenon.
It’s human nature – for most humans, anyways – to have sympathy towards someone with an overt incapacitation or substantial handicap or disability.
How many people, for instance, would actually say cruel things directly to a blind man about his vision or to a woman in a wheelchair about her paralysis?
Who goes up to a person with what appears to be very low functioning autism and actually says demeaning, insulting things to them?
This is pretty much unheard of. One reason is because, again, humans by nature feel some degree of sympathy or pity for the severely disabled.
The mindset may be like, “Oh, that poor girl,” or, “How unfortunate for him.”
Before I go on, it’s important to note that disabled people are more likely to be victims of crime and bullying, when compared to the mainstream population.
But within that sphere is an intriguing phenomenon: People with high functioning autism are more likely to get the short end of the stick in life than are those with low functioning autism.
Level 1 Autism: Target of Mistreatment
The thing about some with Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder is that these individuals don’t come across to others as disabled in the conventional sense.
Level 1 ASD is defined as requiring “minimal support needs,” according to the DSM-5 criteria for mental health specialists.
Many with Level 1 or high functioning autism present as typical when out and about in public or on the job.
Many conceal their autistic behaviors when around other people and have even practiced acting neurotypical.
In fact, some are quite adept at this: These individuals are referred to as high-masking.
Skill at faking being neurotypical — to blend in and avoid punishment or ridicule for standing out — can begin even in early childhood.
But not all people with HFA can pull this off and “pass” as neurotypical or as “like everyone else.”
Instead, they often come across as any of the following: weird, odd, strange, off-the-wall, too analytical, antisocial, immature, overly sensitive, rude, disrespectful, lazy, robot-like and other negative descriptors.
They are in that grey zone, where they aren’t perceived as being “normal,” yet also aren’t perceived as having a disability – especially if they have not been diagnosed with their autism.
(Many Level 1 Autistics aren’t diagnosed until adulthood, such as myself.)
But these non-diagnosed Autists are close enough to being normal or mainstream that they are viewed as being one of those negative descriptors.
And when people – including KIDS – are seen this way by the mainstream, they’re at high risk for bringing the worst out in people, including their own parents.
This may seem like an awful thing to declare, but it’s so very true.
They are the ones who get picked on the most by teachers because teachers see them as weird, aloof, non-conforming, having a bad attitude, not willing to get along with classmates – rather than possibly having a neurodevelopmental communication disorder called autism.
But in that same inclusive classroom may be a student who walks off-balance, can speak only a few words, continuously plays with a tangle fidget, rocks almost constantly, and seems lost in their own sealed-off world.
Teachers, and even classmates, will make a point of being extra kind and patient with this individual.
Kids will invite him or her to join them at their lunch table, while the “odd” and “strange” student who has perfectly fluent speech and walks normally will be sitting alone.
Tragically, the high functioning Autistic’s own parents may be mistreating them.
But these same parents might have treated a Level 3 autistic child with more compassion and grace, because Level 3 is such a significant level of support needs (aka “severe” or “profound” autism), that even cold critical parents would never see this child as socially inept, rude, self-absorbed, weird, odd or lazy.
Instead they may view this child as innocent and even angelic, deserving of sympathy and tender loving care, and heaven help any outsider who dare makes a snide remark about that child.
Rori told me that her parents “never taught me anything.” This includes personal safety, money management and cooking.
Her parents would actually HIT her when she rocked or engaged in other forms of harmless stimming (self-stimulatory behavior such as spinning, hand flapping, finger flicking, tapping one’s face, waving around a shoelace), which is part of the autistic experience.
Rori is a broken individual who receives therapy — not for her autism but for poor self-confidence and always second-guessing herself, thanks to rancid treatment by her parents.
The oddest kid in the class (who has undiagnosed Level 1 autism, struggles with social cues, “says the wrong things” but looks and walks perfectly normal) will get made fun of — while a more blatantly or visibly disabled student (e.g., Level 3 autism, Down syndrome, use of a wheelchair due to cerebral palsy) will be more readily befriended and treated with kindness – by both teachers and classmates.
Even the bullies will tend to shy away from targeting classmates with a conventional disability.
Whew! Got that, Readers? I sure hope so!
Yes, there are actually cruel folk who would waltz straight over to a severely disabled person and make fun of them or bully them. But these are exceptions.
The vast majority of people would never do this, even though many might feel uncomfortable interacting with an obviously disabled individual.
But despite feeling uneasy, they’d still make an effort to be kind. They may even overdo it and be condescending.
These same people could then go home and make demeaning comments all day long to their “socially inept” and “quirky” child who has undiagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder.
This unfortunate phenomenon has also occurred among people with late-diagnosed ADHD.
The child or teen with undiagnosed ADHD (even without autism) can end up being the “black sheep” of their family and given negative labels by teachers, because they’re in that agonizing grey area.
To leave no stone unturned, I also want to point out that there are cases in which a child or teen has the autism diagnosis, but despite that, they may still get picked on by teachers or receive neglect or mental abuse by a parent.
I’ve read of teachers physically abusing students with lower functioning autism. But I can easily see these teachers also abusing “weird” or “quirky” students as well.
With each passing decade, the understanding of high functioning, mild or Level 1 autism becomes clearer in the public consciousness.
But there is still a long way to go.
If you believe your child might be on the Spectrum, have them evaluated by a psychologist who specializes in autism assessments.
Stop thinking of your child as odd, strange, emotionless, alien or not social enough.
Maybe this child is a perfectly made Autist. Autism is to be embraced, not shamed. Autism is not a processing error; it’s an alternative operating system. Get there.
Lorra Garrick has been covering medical and fitness topics for many years, having written thousands of articles for print magazines and websites, including as a ghostwriter. She’s also a former ACE-certified personal trainer. In 2022 she received a diagnosis of Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder and subsequently has developed an intense interest in ASD.
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