Parents of bullies have common traits, and because these common traits have been identified, parents can take action at preventing their children from becoming bullies.
This new information comes from a presentation at the Pediatric Academic Societies (PAS) annual meeting, which was held in Denver on May 1 this year.
If parents have the following traits, it is more likely that their children will be bullies or become bullies in the future:
– Often feeling angry with their child.
– Conveying to their child that he or she bothers the parents a lot or gets on the parent’s nerves.
– Parents who don’t or rarely share ideas with their kids, or who rarely talk with them.
– Failing to meet all or even most of their child’s friends.
– Mothers who report having less-than-optimal mental health.
It’s one thing for parents to feel angry with a child who steals, for instance, or who refuses to do his homework and keep his room tidy.
But some parents persistently show anger to their child for no good reason. When angry people procreate, they make angry parents, it stands to reason.
“They also can find effective ways to manage any feelings of anger toward their child and can work with health care providers to make sure any emotional or behavioral concerns they have about their child, as well as their own mental health, are addressed,” says the lead researcher, Rashmi Shetgiri, MD, FAAP.
The research results were compiled as a result of the data from parents who participated in the National Survey of Children’s Health from the years 2003 to 2007.
Imagine how you’d feel, as a child, if you felt that you got on your mother’s or father’s nerves … not when you refused to help out with yard work, but for just being “you.”
You’d feel awful about yourself. A child who makes a career out of bullying never feels good about himself or herself, and this is often masked by a swaggering, egotistic demeanor.
Parenting should be more than a job; it should be about relationships. It only makes sense that children are less likely to become bullies when they have parents who freely communicate with them and share ideas, as well as ask for their kids’ ideas and opinions.
Why shouldn’t parents know whom their kids’ friends are? There’s no good answer for this. Simply invite your children’s friends over for milk and home baked cookies or pizza. Who can refuse this?
If you feel that your mental health is less than optimal, seek treatment. Find out why you feel this way.
Ask yourself if this might negatively impact your family. If it impacts your quality of life and those of adult relationships, why exclude your children from this fallout?
“Targeting interventions to decrease these persistent risk factors and increase the persistent protective factors could lead to decreased bullying,” says Dr. Shetgiri, medical director at Pediatric Primary Care Clinic in Los Angeles whose research interests include bullying and youth violence prevention.
According to the survey results, in 2003, 23 percent of kids had bullied another child, and in 2007, that figure was much higher at 35 percent.
Yes, the parents of bullies definitely have several things in common.