Here’s HOW an expert says you can learn if your child is being bullied. Don’t assume you can figure this out all on your own; many parents miss the boat with this one.
Sadly, it’s very uncommon for a victim of bullying to report this to their parents.
This is why parents need to be hyper-alert to signs of bullying, says Rona Novick, PhD, who developed the BRAVE bully prevention program. I interviewed her for this article.
She is a clinical psychologist, has worked with schools nationally on the issue of bullying, and is director of the Fanya Gottesfeld Heller Doctoral Program at Yeshiva University, NY.
One way a parent can discover clues that their child might be getting bullied is to (without pressure) make the child’s social world a regular area of discussion, says Dr. Novick.
This may seem like a no-brainer to any responsible parent, but the digital age has made this more difficult to accomplish.
Pre-Facebook and iPads, “When friends called the house phone to ask for your child, you knew who his or her friends were,” says Dr. Novick. “Now, a child can live their social life on their cell phones and computers!”
Parents Should Be Approachable
- Ask yourself if your child feels at ease initiating any topic to you.
- Ask yourself WHY you believe that your child would not be reluctant to share a problem with you: a bullying problem.
- Have you let your kids know they can come to you about anything without fear of judgment? This is exceedingly important, says Novick.
Other Signs of Bullying
“A child who wants to stay home from school on the day of a big test is of less concern (for bullying) than a child who wants to stay home from the field trip, or miss a friend’s party,” says Dr. Novick.
Additional signs that can mean bullying include regressive behavior (such as bedwetting), old habits returning (such as thumb sucking or hair pulling), clinginess and social withdrawal, says Dr. Novick.
Also be on the lookout for skin picking and skin cutting. Though these can trigger harassment in the school setting, they can also be the result of bullying by peers.